TMZ says that in Utah a theater was showing “Sex Drive” and then they moved “HSM3″ to a larger screen, no one told the dude to change the projector … so when the movie started … well …. if you’ve seen the intro scene in “Sex Drive” then you know what happened

Thats good funny ….

Where the hell is Lauren Hill?

Right there…kicking it with Martha “West-SIDE” Stewart … isnt that nice….

This is the pic that is starting the rumor that she’s with child …. hrmmm…….. what do you think?!!?!

Kevin Smith on his new movie, its not really safe for work, but totally funny … check him out!!!! AND GO SEE ZACK and MIRI MAKE A “BLEEEP” THIS WEEKEND!!!

If you have a 15 year old ….. dont let her wear this for Halloween

“I want to take this opportunity… also to give you the exclusive and just talk a little bit about the fact that this will be my last performance as an actor… I’m not doing films anymore,” he told the “Extra” television program.

He said Tuesday he would now focus on music, without giving details.

Rigggghttttttt…….

The woman is alleged to have bombarded Caruso with more than 100 letters in her attempt to get the TV star’s autograph. But when her repeated requests were snubbed, the suspect reportedly threatened the life of Caruso and his then-girlfriend Lisa Marquez in another letter.

Stalkers are silly

Obama is taking over the networks tonight starting at 8pm … unless you watch ABC … they wanted more money … and now they are losing the night

Zac Effron … is Mike’s biggest fan ….

you make the joke

And … yes … Mista Jackson is doing a world tour ….

Britney has no control … Pappa has taken over … forever!!!

The judge felt that rather than lawyers continually coming back to court every few months to extend the temporary conservatorship order, it made more sense to make the order permanent with the option of it being lifted in the future if Britney’s circumstances change. Britney’s medical team will continue to evaluate her condition on an ongoing basis. Jamie will oversee Britney’s career and business affairs. Judge Goetz said, “The conservatorship is necessary and appropriate for the complexities of financial and business entities and her being susceptible to outside influences.”

Pussycat Dolls FT Missy … good stuff ………….what’cha think???

I told you this weeks ago … and its back

I thought that headline would get your attention..LOL Love it or hate it, many people have been wondering about the Love Trap whereabouts. It is now all new at 6:25 on Thursdays. Please spread the word about your guilty pleasure. Now I know your next question. Why did you change the time? Well because our little show is growing and evolving. This is a good thing, we are now more than just the Love Trap. So all you die hard Love Trap fans get your fix now at 6:25.

Funny thing, I did the grocery shopping last night and was shocked to find out that the “granola” cereal was a ton more fattening than other “bad” cereals. It was half the serving size and loaded with sugar and fat. Here I thought granola was a health food. In comparison my girl’s favorite “Special K” was loaded with protein and only 110 calories per serving! If I keep eating this “not so healthy” cereal, they are going to start calling us El Gordo y La Flaca..LOL

My Myspace page is up just do a search for Baltazar 997 and you should get to me!

Erik Estrada of “Chips”fame has been scheduled to join us in the near future. My first question and maybe last is all about that George Lopez story. GLo claims Erik blew him off after asking for an autograph. He goes on with his act by calling him a “puto”. I’m conflicted because I grew up worshiping Erik and love George Lopez and don’t know what side to take. Can’t we all just get along?

FYI, Gerard Butler (300) is going to join us Friday!!!!!!  I better do a few crunches tonight at the gym….LOL

Have a great day!

BalTazer

….omfg…totally hitting the taco truck this afternoon…and when i say afternoon….i mean 10am

Thanks again to Tommy T’s for letting me do some comedy last Sunday, it helps to pay off the gambling debt….and beats washing his car.

Halloween is right around the corner, i need to get my costume ready, i think im going as Super Mario … since “Joe The Plumber” is pretty wack … and my GF doesn’t want me to put on the black face and go as Obama ….

If you dont check out FailBlog.Org on the daily … your missing out on some funny …

AWHHHHHHHHHHH CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They are back together … im putting the joo-joo out on this one … they are a sexy, smart and funny couple of clowns and they should be together … Sarah is going on the Kimmel show this Thursday … so who knows whats up…

World Fattest Man … got married!??!?!!?!?!

Moments before the love was to much for them …..

People always ask me what B is like, well you can find him on MySpace now … just do a search for Baltazar and it should pop up….

The vote is in and you want me dressing up as a woman. What a surprise! Thanks to the 34% who voted against this idea. I owe you a debt of gratitude for your efforts. Now they are telling me I have to go vote on election day as a woman. LOL I guess that will make me an official Obama Mama! LOL

Big shout to Chunk who rocked the mic last night at Tommy T’s opening up for Debbie Guiterrez. Debbie has a no nonsense approach to marriage that is hilarious on stage. As a guy I agree that women really have only two things they have to do to keep their guy happy. She says “when he is hungry, feed him. When he is horny @$%$# him.” It is that simple. I’ll throw in “don’t nag” as marital advice. I think nagging is a relationship killer. Men want to feel appreciated, we want to feel special too! We know we are not perfect, but try to accentuate the positive, not the negative. I bring this up because I just read an interesting article on why men cheat. A very small percentage cheating with a woman that was better looking than their spouse.  A huge portion of the men polled said that the mistress showed more appreciation for them than their spouse. Make your guy feel special and he will give you back the love. Everyone wants to hang out with people that make them feel good about themselves. Right?

I have to shoutout my little Giavanna back in CT who scored her first soccer goal this weekend. Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope to catch up with you a later in the week, take care.

BalTazer

I just want to remind you before you start all your fun (or not-so-fun) weekend activities to please vote to have Baltazar dress up as a woman.  Movin’ VIP’s can cast their vote by going to the icon of Baltazar in a stick-figure dress and clicking on. Monday I will announce the results. When we win (I have to be optomistic ladies!) we can spend a couple days picking out beauty treatments and outfits. We’ll get all the stuff together and have him get dolled up live on the air and put the video up on the website so you can see the transformation. Despite his protests he’s being a good sport so I think this will be fun and educational. Oh, I plan to keep up my end of the bargain too! Menswear here I come!

I’m headed out for a Girls Night Out tonite with Alexa. I hope my liver can take it. It should be fun. We’re gonna hit a Happy Hour and then we’re going to a candle party. This is new on me (the candle party, not the happy hour). I’ve been to Tupperware, Mary Kay, Passion and even a cooking party but this candle thing is news to me.

I think Saturday is going to be a stay at home and catch up on my TV day. My DVR is slam-packed with this week’s programs plus I have two-weeks worth of laundry to do. Basically there’s no point in making any big Saturday plans because after tonight, I’ll be out of all my “cute” clothes.

Sunday night I am headed out to see funny Mami Debbie Gutierrez at Tommy T’s in Pleasanton. (tommyts.com for ticket info.) She is always hysterical in the studio but this will be the first time I get to catch her whole act. As an added bonus, our own producer Chunk will opening for her on Sunday night. He’s quick with the snaps in the studio too so I want to see him uncensored in front of a live audience.

That’s it, don’t forget to vote for Baltazar in a dress and we’ll be back on Monday!

Attention Movin V.I.P.S vote No on me dressing up as a woman. I have no “manifesto” ( I like that “man” ifesto..LOL) like Maria but I simply urge from the bottom of my heart to vote NO! Thanks

Today on the golf course should be interesting. Ooh I can’t wait for the first important putt I have to make and someone says “does your husband play golf” LOL

Oh, oh this just in from the tech department..the vote is 60-40 in Maria’s favor to have me dressed as a woman. Come on “No”! We will have the results Monday at 8:30

I hope you get a chance to check out the SNL Thursday edition it was off the hook! The funny part was when it started, I was like they are playing an old skit from a few years back because it was Will Farrell who left a few years ago. Then he said the name Sarah Palin and I was “oh $*@! then is new” and I’m telling you, Will plus Tina Fey and then Daryl Hammond as McCain..LOL

Are you dressing up your pet for Halloween? We are getting our “Angel” costume today to dress up Kitty this weekend. BTW her pooping outside the litter box has lessened (I just jinxed it)

Here is something that will make you laugh, Maria got me Tom Brady’s website so I could send him a get well message. (Tombrady.com) I’m typing away telling him how I met him back in the day when he first got drafted.blah.blah..blah when my laptop starts going into hybernate mode.I’m like No! No! No! As it shuts off. There’s 30 minutes of my life I can’t get back. LOL

Gotta run, see ya Monday!

BalTazer

Vote no! And I’m not talking about any of the propositions. I’m talking aboutthis morning’s conversation about Sarah Palin and Maria’s complaint that women are judged more than men about their appearance. I was doing ok until I asked why women had so many shoes. Then Maria challenged me to the bet (check podcast). So when the poll goes up,  I urge you to vote NO on me having to dress up as a woman.  Again, I urge you to vote NO. In espanol, por favor vote “NO”!

Thank you, gracias

BalTazer 

I have challenged Baltazar to dress as a woman for a day. He doesn’t want to, he’d rather choke me instead I’m sure but if he has to, I think it will teach him a lesson. In a bigger sense I wish we could all change places with a group we make assumptions about so we can learn the real truth of what it’s like to be them.

Now, back to Baltazar. We can teach him(at least from a fashion and grooming standpoint) what it’s like to be a woman. I urge you to go to movin997.com and cast your vote “yes” for him to dress like a woman for a day! I’ve challenged him on the air but ladies, the real decision is up to you. Please vote.  Men always crab at us about how much we spend on clothes, accessories, beauty treaments. Granted, a lot of stuff we get is “want” but more than they know is “need”.

I’m lucky to work in an industry where I can wear pretty much anything to work as long as it’s clean and covers my naughty bits. But I’ve had jobs where I was required to wear pantyhose and dresses or skirts and I wasn’t living in the balmy Bay Area at the time. Try an outfit like that in Buffalo, New York in the winter when you’re catching the bus! (I don’t care how long your coat is or how thick your tights are, the wind will have its way with you!) . 

Just think, men open their drawers and choose boxers, briefs or boxer-briefs, a t-shirt that’s scoop or v-neck with or without sleeves. Then depending on their work it’s jeans or khaki’s and a tee or polo. If they are in “business” its a dark suit, shirt and tie. The appropriate footwear be it work boots, loafers or dress shoes. That’s it. They basically have a uniform.  When we go to the closet: dress, skirt or pants? Suit or separates? The underwear choices alone would stop them cold. The accessories we have to wade through and they wonder why it takes so long for us to get ready. I’m not going to go into all the waxing, shaving, plucking, sucking, steaming, polishing, spritzing, curling, frying and dyeing we have to do. If the situation was reversed we would be dating a bunch of badly dressed Bigfoots!

In conclusion, ladies I need you to go to the web and vote, not just so I win but so we all win. We will make an example of Baltazar so he can tell other men what it’s really like and maybe just maybe they will appeciate what we go through. So the next time we buy a new  purse or shoes or article of clothing instead of saying “How much?” they’ll say “How nice!”.

Zac is not doing Pirates 4 …. thank god … that would of killed that 4th installment for rizzo…

Madonna is just mean … using the kids for this … really?!?

SO … here is a pic that should make you go DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

also, check out what Guy Ritchie upgraded to … niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

PEOPLE …. in this economy …. use this as a resource

Things are getting ugly on Ugly Betty … pun TOTALLY INTENDED … snaps!

This is coming from Page Six, so it could be completely made up ….

One episode, titled “Granny Pants,” was about how Lohan, playing Betty’s high school nemesis, would “de-pants” Ferrera. But Ferrera exacts her revenge and pulls down Lohan’s pants instead. “Lindsay wasn’t wearing any underwear,” the source said.

But a Lohan pal fumed, “[BULLS**T]! Lindsay wears underwear all the time now. She was wearing a G-string. And it was America’s fault. They were rehearsing the scene and America wasn’t supposed to pull Lindsay’s pants down - but she did. Lindsay was so embarrassed, she started crying. America was mean to Lindsay. Lindsay didn’t do the last two episodes because America didn’t like her and got her kicked off.”

In the latest issue of Cookie Jada Pinkett Smith shares her parenting tips ….

Pinkett Smith insists “dinner together is sacred” and parents must learn to give their children their space: “(That) can teach them to be responsible for their own decisions and mistakes. Is it their room, or are they borrowing the space while they’re living in your house?If it’s theirs, then they should be able to do whatever they want with it. If it’s their clothes, they have the right to do whatever they want with those clothes. We have to give them some freedom to be who they are.”

And she’s very particular about what her kids drink: “I tell them, ‘You have three bottles of water a day, then drink what you want. I’m always like, ‘Listen, we’ve got to keep our bodies strong - we got too much stuff to do!’”

normally I HATE TALKING ABOUT THESE TWO DUMMYS … but i had to let you know

she just lost her clothing line @ Anchor Blue … why … cause she sucks

Linda Hogan still dating a kid … 1 year older then her son … CREEPY!

HAHAHAH … Beauty pageant folks are silly ….

ss Teen Louisiana, Lindsey Evans, 18, has lost her crown after being arrested for possession of marijuana and failing to pay a restaurant tab on Saturday.

The teen was with a group of friends who had dined at Posados Cafe in Bossier City. Their bill was $46.07.

A manager at the restaurant had no problems identifying the assailants, because the teen beauty queen had left her purse on the table.

To make matters even worse for Evans, when going through her handbag, cops found 2 grams of weed inside.

In a bold move, Evans returned to the restaurant to retrieve her belongings when police recognized her from her I.D.

Evans and her four friends were booked on theft charges, three on drug charges and two on drug paraphernalia charges.

HAHAHAHAHAH

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rednecks can change

I know what im getting Mark Nieto for x-mas …. a wax figure of Carrie Underwood … can you tell the difference???

That’s MY GIRL !!!!!!

Twins … do these people know that in 20 years all these twins are going to be “ACTING A FOOOOOOL” in Hollywood!!!

DUB-TEE-EFF ???

Anyone care about Lost anymore?

here is a teaser trailer for the new season …

Who’s footing the bill to keep Governor Sarah Palin looking her best on the campaign trail?

The Republican National Committee has reportedly spent more than $150,000 to clothe the Governor of Alaska and her family since she was selected as John McCain’s running mate in the 2008 presidential election last August.

According to financial disclosure records, Palin has enjoyed shopping trips to Saks Fifth Avenue, where she purchased $49,425.74 in gear, and a Minneapolis Neiman Marcus location, where the RNC dropped $75,062.63 trip last month.

The Republican National Committee spent $4,716.49 on Palin’s hair and makeup in September.

This VIDEO isnt safe for work …. because McCain drops the C-Bomb … yes … C-Bomb

The Jerry McGuire kids all grown up … and not really that fugs compared to other kid stars … he turned 18 yesterday

Rihanna and JT shooting a new video …

Mazel Tov … they are having a baby!

Obama wins the election … if your 4 year old could vote .. but only by 2%

Man Shawls?!?! AWWWH HELL NO!!!

…

This one’s going to be a short one because I am headed out of here to enjoy a “hot” time in the city and for once I mean the temperature. It’s supposed to hit 80 degrees in San Francisco…yee-hah! There is a patio with my name on it and a table waiting to be filled with some delicious food and possibly an adult beverage. I’m thinking a frozen margarita (made with 1800 Tequila of course!). Better yet, I may just spend the afternoon having that food and beverage on my balcony. That way, if I dose off in the chair after lunch my siesta will not have to be interrupted. I hope you get to have some fun in the sun today too, no matter where in the Bay Area you may be. Adios!

Wait, BTW: Ladies thanks for your responses to today’s topic “rudest/craziest thing you’ve ever seen on your morning commute. The guy playing the guitar in traffic while driving is the craziest thing I have ever heard! I especially thank-you today because with that awful accident on the 880, your stories helped a lot of people get through this morning’s commute . Talk at you tomorrow…Mwah!