Hot enough for ya? Now I know why we are calling this Labor weekend the “Cali Caliente” weekend. Its $#@&% Hot! Caliente! My new crib has no AC. I repeat no AC! We are cooling down the old school way with portable fans and that is not working. I’m going to turn on the sprinklers today and run through them.

Maria was busting on me because I went to Bed Bath and Beyond by myself the other day. “I should take away your man card”! What?!  A heterosexual man can’t go and buy stuff for his house? This is the same woman who is all about Barack Obama and “change”. I think it is great that a guy can be a little domestic and in tune with bath products. OK maybe she’s right, I was the only guy in the whole damn place! but I have to tell you about this cool thing I ran into while I was there. If you have someone in the house who “funks up the bathroom”, they have a thing called “courtesy flush”.  Sop rather than doing what I call the “canary test” where you send a bird into the bathroom and if it survives it is safe to walk in. Just use “courtesy flush”. I took it home and believe it or not the $%#@  really works! LOL.. It may be a relationship saver!

D.L Hughley came in at just the right time today as they announced the vice president choice for Senator John McCain. I applaud that McCain selected a woman as a running mate but who is she? Sarah Palin who is governor of Alaska and  a runner up in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant when she was younger. But to quote D.L “yeah but who where the other contestants? A bear, a deer and moose!” LOL

Obama just fired back as I’m watching the news in the other room. I’m paraphrasing the quote “Congratulations on choosing the former mayor of a town of 9,000 persons. Do you really want someone to be a heartbeat away from the presidency with lack of experience?” Yikes that is scary! Go Obama go!

Go B go! I gotta run. Have a safe and happy weekend!

BalTazer

And yes I’m talking Hughley baby! That man is something else. He’s smart, funny, has gorgeous butterscotch eyes, tons of tats….if I was single and he was single and I looked like Halle Berry wearing stilettos, Daisy Dukes and a tank top it would be on like Donkey Kong!  I LOVE a smart man. Looks are nice (and he’s got them) but they fade like curtains in the sun.  He’s the kinda guy I could talk with all night long and be satisfied.  So why the “Halle Berry in stilettos etc…”? I’m smart and I like to think I’m funny but let’s face it, men are visual and this face has a time limit.

I’m not even going to go into Barack Obama’s speech last night except to shout “I’m an Obama Mama!!!!!” Now, I don’t think this man can save the whole world or even the whole country but he has reminded me that we can save ourselves. I can do my part to help others and make my corner of the world a better place, we all can. I hope those of you that were inspired by that speech will take the next step for change. In my small way,I’m starting today.

Well, have a safe and fun holiday weekend! Send summer off right ’cause fall is a ‘comin! I’m headed to see my parents. I HATE the cross-country trip. I swear 3 hours is my limit on a plane. In three hours I can take a nap, drink a soda, eat a snack, do a crossword puzzle, read and go to the bathroom. Okay, that’s it let me off. I’m done. I’ve done everything I can do on a plane without a willing partner. The first flight (there’s no direct nonstop flight to where I’m going) is 5 1/2 hours. Ugh! My only comfort is knowing when I get there (at midnight) my family will be there and tomorrow there will be a hoagie (sandwich) with my name on it.  Allright y’all wine, dine and have a good time, I’ll be back Tuesday morning with one really funny story- I promise!

TRAFFIC MAN - MARK NIETO! ! ! ! !

Kick in a bOx Game 1 !!!

We’ll MISS YOU ARLENE!!!!!!!

Gary Spivey is a Jedi.

This dude is freaky accurate, i mean he can tell you about a random caller before the phone is even picked up.

Dude’s a Jedi.

GarySpivey.Com

Check him out this weekend at the SF Airport
Some folks are asking to see what Deuce (Maria’s Doggy Dog)

Another Tell-All book that really doesn’t tell you anything … is coming out … maybe … but at least it has a good title

This one is written by photographer Ian Halperin, and is titled Stalking Britney: Britney Under Seige.

Should be a page turner…

Cmon now … why can’t you wait in line and or buy your ticket on ebay like everyone else…

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. (AP) - One man appears determined to crash the party at the Playboy Mansion. Los Angeles police say a Ventura County man rammed his vehicle into the gates at Hugh Hefner’s legendary home twice in the past week.
Detectives believe both incidents involve an “ongoing dispute,” Lt. John Romero told the Los Angeles Times, without offering details.
The unnamed suspect was arrested and released after the first crash last Thursday night, Lee said. He slammed his car into the gates again Tuesday, but fled before police arrived. The gates sustained some damage.

Heff might be getting married to this chick … good times.

also, in booby news

Katy Perry is doing a “mold” of her sweater kittens for charity … check her out @ Keep-A-Breast.Org

Damn… this cat is silly … anyone else think that rocking PJ’s with a suit is silly

holla…DL Hughley tomorrow @ 8:15am

chunkOUT

PUT DOWN THE CRACK PIPE!

“Most Uncomfortable Award”

Anderson Cooper … loves him some ‘hood bangers

Ol Crazy Legs might be making an apperance on the VMA’s … I’m hoping for Britney and JT to make a song … but i’ll take a crazy Jackson

The Hedgehog is back in action with a new article in Time Magazine, yup … Time Mag = Porn Lovers

read the article HERE

Ultimate “Bro”mance!

“Dude, check it, you could totally swoop up that kid and take him back to France…trust bro… i’ll keep look out”

The Video Might not be safe for work ’cause Diddy likes to cuss, but he’s now flying American Airlines ’cause its WAY TO **** ***** pricey to fill up the Jet….cool player

Cute Couple, but Matty’s Mom has a new book out where she says….

drumroll ………….

her husband died while “doing it”

yeah …

page turner…

The “PAPS” are saying that Mayer/Aniston are still together….

they say its all a Hoax for press…..

whatever…..glad she’s getting some

Justin doesn’t like to hear him self sing ….

Still together … despite the rumors on the “inter-webs” about them breaking up … we will have her on the show on Friday and chat with her about that!

You Go Tom Brady … get that house … blow the season

Hey, Girl, HEY!

Dunzo!

anyone else think this was a sham all along?!?!

Role Models come with Clear Heels!?!?!?!

PEEP GAME!!!!

First 5 mins of Gossip Girl!!!!!!

Kelly Osbourne GOT KNOCKED THE F*** OUT!!!!!

Attn: MOM !!!

this is what I want for x-mas …

BE AARON SORKINS FRIEND ON FACEBOOK !!!!!

HE’S MAKING A NEW MOVIE ABOUT IT ….. LOVE ME SOME “SORKIN” ! !!! !!

Welcome. I’m Aaron Sorkin. I understand there are a few other people using Facebook pages under my name—which I find more flattering than creepy—but this is me. I don’t know how I can prove that but feel free to test me.

I’ve just agreed to write a movie for Sony and producer Scott Rudin about Mark Zuckerberg, Eduardo Saverin and Dustin Moskovitz—three sophmores at Harvard who, in order to meet girls, invented Facebook. I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I’ve started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she’s been dead for 33 years.)

ADD HIM HERE

word

chunk OUT!!!

First let me say I’m a Democrat by registration and proud of it. That being said and despite the title of this blog it’s not about voting or politics or being a Democrat or Republican…it’s about being. Politics play into it because I was watching the Democratic Convention last night. Let me cut to the chase…I Love Michelle Obama! Taking her last name and who her husband is out of the equation she gave a heartfelt speech that expressed the hopes and dreams of America and in a much subtler way unity. Some groups of us have not had the best relationship with one another throughout the history of this country but there is no reason really why we can’t. As I looked at her last night I was proud because she was me and my friends, women of all races who work hard to make strides in our careers and communities while living and/or raising families in an uncertain world. At the end of the day we all want a nice home in a safe neighborhood with good schools. We want safe and efficient and affordable transportation to get us to the jobs that let us help provide for our families. We want fresh water for drinking and bathing, enough food to sustain us and some creature comforts to give us pleasure at the end of a hard day. Admittedly some of us want more of this stuff than others but you understand what I’m saying. The point is at our core we are all human, different yet the same. No matter who wins in November I hope we hold onto the unity I felt as I’m sure many felt during the speech last night. To take it a step further I hope we will act with kindness and compassion based on that unity rather than the hate and prejudice that thrives on our differences.

Hey what is going on in your world? I’m now getting more nervous by the minute. Last night my little five year old Giavanna told me she was nervous about her first day of school tomorrow. Oh my stomach just sank. How can daddy make it better? How can I relieve the stress that we have all felt growing up. Oh I know she will be alright, but the daddy in me wants to make it all good for her. Which according to her is “buy me the new Hanna Montana DVD” LOL

Yesterday I spent a few hours trying to set up my satellite dish after the dish installers said they couldn’t get a guy out until next week. No TV until Tuesday? What will I do?! So como un pendejo, I was out there trying to find the “southwest shot” to find the signal. Mind you that this dish was the size of a house. Only to have the TV repeat the same old message “searching for signal”. To quote Dirty Harry, “A man has to know his limitations”. Yeah, and I know mine. I will now stick to the remote control!

Tomorrow  Gary Spivey at 7 a.m. and you have to check out the Baltbuster at 8:30. How can a guy go from hero to zero? You will find out on tomorrow’s Baltbuster!

Peace out!

BalTazer

OK, this really was bugging me today, they (not the LA times, but a blog on the website LA Weekly, link here ) say that Dr Dre’s son died , then AllHipHop.Com got a hold of the story and ran with it. This caused all the other “blog/news” outlets to jump on the band wagon about the story

This is really bad people, rumors fly around the internet like “the clap” around an office….but i’m putting a stop to this…if this REALLY did happen…..a real news site would have picked up the story…

This happened last week to Lil Wayne’s daughter, which was un-true … I really hope people realize that EVERYTHING YOU READ ONLINE ISNT TRUE!!!!!

if its true, a real news site or source would have the info ….

Honestly, im being selfish, only because this would put a stop on the Detox album, which is so needed in the “hip-hop” scene right now, we need an album that actually is full of talent, not just crap.

BLIND SOURCES ARE BULLS**T ….

alright …im good … back blogging … had to take a walk on that one ….

In case you missed her speak last night…

Porn Star - Kim Kardashian not really hurt … but still a complete drama queen

Pamela Anderson …. not a MILF … actually she’s kinda “mask” looking…scary

Charlie is popping out some more chit’lens….good job chuck!

Demi Lovato eating it on stage … thats nice

they got white kids?!?!

hrmm…….is Loreal responsible for this ad?

ever wish Shark Week was avail. on command ?

Best Cake … ever!

HAHAHAHAAH

Authorities find grow operation at Miami mall

MIAMI –
The Mall of the Americas in Miami was home to a business not usually found among the food courts, retail stores and movie theaters of similar locations: a hydroponic nursery with more than 200 marijuana plants.

Federal agents seized the plants on Friday. The grow operation was found deep in a storeroom at the mall. Authorities say the growers used the mall’s electricity to power their equipment, adding the flimsy wiring could have caused a fire.

Agents would not say how the drugs were found, and no arrests have been made.

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Supermodel Babies for sale …. no … you dont get to keep them … awh… sad face

Desperate House Wife … uses the mens room … does she not know that mens rooms are the uber fugs!?!?!

here is something that makes ya say…………awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwh

heading home … for some Madden…watch this video … then bring it

xbox360 ID = “chunkachunk”

holla

“hi haters!!!”

5 wins in a row! For those of you who are thinking, why am I even talking about this, let me remind you that the season is not over….yet. I know a lot of you have already turned your thoughts to football but I’m not ready to let go of the “Boys of Summer” yet.

Part of the reason I bring up the Giants is that I went to the game yesterday and it was a perfect day for baseball. Warm enough to go sleeveless if you were sitting in the sun, cool enough for a hoodie if you were in the shade. I am still amazed at the variety of food at AT&T Park. I discover something new everytime I go. This time it was Captain Morgan. I know they have full bars but I didn’t realize me and the Captain could make it happen at the ballpark.  A couple of Captain and Cokes, some garlic fries and a Giants win and my day was complete.  Well it would have been had my friends and I not decided to hit the patio at MoMo’s for a couple of drinks to celebrate the Giants win.  Drinks turned to dinner which was yummy (the mac and cheese is the bomb!) and then home to bed, a bit tipsy on a full stomach. So bad, but so good!

BTW: Let me shout out Julia and Elsie who are my “patio friends”. I’ve run into them two Sundays on the patio when there’s a game. See you at the next one ladies!

Big love to you on a Monday, I hope you had a weekend as good as mine. Birthday was slammin! Thanks for all the well wishes and love! My girl really went all out getting me Patriot vs San Diego Charger tickets! That was just one of many surprises from her including a personalized birthday card! The tickets were great but it was all the little things that made it extra special.

You may remember that I was moving to this weekend. This is when you realize you have too much crap, and in this case two people have too much crap! LOL Anybody need a fondue kit? We have two barely used, in good condition (sounds like a craigslist ad) for your melting pleasure. I have moved so many times that I have learned to shed the “pack rat” disease so many people suffer from. But yeah there is the exception to the rule.  I still have all my baseball caps and golf visors from growing up. Fully worn and complete with sweat stains. Why? I don’t know why! Because they are memories of a certain team, golf course, etc. Then why do I keep them in a box five rows deep in the closest? Que pendejo!

Along with my girl, I’m now living with a new furry friend. Her name is “Kitty” and she steals the show at our house. This morning was my first one at the new house and getting ready with unopen boxes and bags all around me is not very pleasant. If animals could actually speak out loud, Kitty would be saying “What’s a matter, can’t dress in the dark? I can see perfectly fine. And oh those socks don’t match…Meow” That is the early morning ritual that now is a little trickier because I don’t want to wake up my girl. Getting dressed, half asleep, in the dark and trying to keep the light and noise down. While Kitty follows me around for laughs.

People are busting on me since Perez Hilton threw out the “your 42 years old now, right?” line on Friday’s report. No!!!!!!I’m not 42! That question will remain a mystery. Age ain’t nothing but a number baby.

Hey big week for guest this week starting with Samantha Harris from Dancing with the Stars. Call us tomorrow to get on the Gary Spivey live show! Vanessa Minello (Nick Lachey’s girl) and D.L Hughley Friday!!!! I will talk to you tomorrow!

BalTazer