Hey I hope you are having a nice day. I smell me some weekend, or is that the garlic smell coming from Gilroy? Thank you Steve from the east who inspired our conversation “What’s the silliest thing your pet does”. I had a cat back in the day “Scummy” who (please don’t think I’m a weirdo) loved to be spanked. Yes! spanked..She purred and purred. Do you see why I was sort of timid sharing that on the air? Oh..Oh Maria is reading my blog as I type..LOL..She’s making a face…pause..”I call that rough petting” she says..LOL

So I finally finished watching the rest of the Espy’s last night (sports award show) Justin Timberlake is the man! Check your tv listings for a replay of the show. I’m telling you you will laugh your @#$! off. He has a take on everything from Roger Clemons to Shaq.

You may of missed our 9 o’clock guest comedian Josh Blue who is an inspiration to anyone with cerebral palsey. He shined on Last Comic Standing season 4 and is bringing his act to the Improv this weekend in San Jose. (check podcast)

Remember tomorrow it is an all star comedy fest with Aiesha Tyler, Mike Epps and Charlie Murphy! Win tickets every hour!!!!

BalTazer

for reals … yesterday Balty was talking about “Pet Day” on the radio … and my inner broadcaster was screaming “HACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK” …. which refers to bits that are lame and should never be used on the radio ever,normally they are used to make the Host/Co Host feel good about having calls into the station.. other then that.. you can get anyone you want to talk about which is better… “the soccer ball or he basketball” … or “which topping is better on a burrito..”guac or sour cream”

even this morning I was dreading doing “pet stuff”on the radio … even walking to get coffee this morning I saw a dog in a car and was all like, “please, let us do something else besides pets on the radio today”

then I started taking calls for pets…and laughed…a lot….pets are silly and pet owners love them some animals…but the fun calls were from people who told us about the ’spouses’ animals … that run into walls, fall asleep on walks and generally twenty cards short of a full deck….

the bit is still lame … oh well … another day, another slash.

OK … here is the joke about Kelsey Grammer:

to quote him, “I was thinking I had to take care of my family, i’ve got to much stuff to do”

what he really thought…”CRAP … if I don’t make it on the Cheers movie im screwed!!!!”

hahahahah

Happy Birthday to Ben from Santa Rosa … he’s turning 24 today…CHEERS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!!!

following the Barack Obama world tour …. he’s in Germany … and will be back in the states in a few days…

speaking of that, here are some Comic Books about the candidates.

I love Katy Perry…just putting that out there

if you dont … you suck..here is her video..enjoy it!

LIVE!!!!!

HCwDB’s = Hot Chicks with D Bags

The dude is coming this weekend … check him out here

Lil Tommy isn’t doing Top Gun 2….sad face

President Bush did something good…

… Wednesday signed a law designating a stretch of Route 20A in upstate New York as “Timothy J. Russert Highway,” in honor of the late NBC News journalist.

ATTN: MARIA … here is something for ya

http://www.sears.com/shc/s/s_10153_12605_Appliances_Refrigerators_Compact+Refrigerators?sLevel=2

keep it real girl … lets get some cold drinks

OK, this dude was hella drunk … record breaking drunk…

Stanley Kobierowski, 34, was arrested in Providence, R.I., after smashing his car into an electronic message sign. According to state police, he allegedly blew a .489 and .491 on a Breathalyzer at the scene. That’s more than six times the state’s legal limit. He was brought to a local hospital and held for two days until sober enough to be arraigned, police said.

DAAAAAAAAAAMN

not actually the dude..just a funny pic

Happy 40th BIRTHDAY TO MY MAIN COUG KRISTIN CHENOWETH ! !! ! ! !

omg … queen of the cougs!

Leave this dude alone,he’s got a crazy family and they are all about getting his cash and or whatever… some BS …

speaking of the cops aka “the man” doing what he does …

Agents from America’s Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) have reportedly seized diaries belonging to actress Anne Hathaway in relation to her ex-boyfriend’s fraud case.

hahahahahaahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah some are gonna be some snazzy princess diaries…

Chris Brown might be throwing his hat into the over-crowded & played out ring of dance competitions…great…more crap on TV…

what is going on with Kim Kardashian’s butt?!?

not that im complaining… just thinking she should market whatever she eats and whatever she does to get that table top she’s dragging around

Legos are cool

<img src=”http://gadgets.boingboing.net/gimages/sydmeadlegospinner1_wm-thumb-520×390.jpg” width=369>

Kidd Rock = Tough

<img src=”http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/kid-rock-waffle-house.jpg” width=369>

here is the video

Sienna Miller aka Miss Countrywide due to her homewrecking ablilities is suing everyone all at once over these and other pics

Greatest Movie Ever goes to the new movie by the tramps who brought you Juno!

Here’s the promotional poster for Diablo Cody’s dark comedy Jennifer’s Body. The motion picture, set for release in 2009, star actress Megan Fox as Jennifer, a cheerleader possessed by a demon who begins feeding off the boys in a small Minnesota farming town.

much love to PopCrunch.Com

another sad face

<img src=”http://www.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/nick-lachey-jessica-simpson.jpg” width=369>

Jessica’s Rep claims the “sex tape” was a hoax ….awwwwwwh…we’re stuck with her country album now … snaps.

MTV to remake Rocky Horror Picture Show?!?!

MTV is developing a remake of 1975 cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show, reports Variety. Lou Adler, executive producer of the original film, is partnering with BermanBraun and Fox Television Studios on the new rendition.
The new version will use the original screenplay by Jim Sharman and Richard O’Brien but may also include music not featured in the original.

WTF …they are going to eff this up for sure…they should stick to the fake fake fake fake horribly fake The Hills…

keep it real.

Congrats to Amy Adams .. she is gonna get hitched

Cheers & Salute

US Weekly says, “The actress chose the procedure (which can cost around $12,000 a pop) so “she wouldn’t have to deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant,” the source tells Us. “She could just knock it out.’”

hrmm…she did pop out a couple volkswagons…duh…of course she had help..she is on her way to having a whole soccer team or a sweat shop to make movie merch.

haha..sweat shops are silly

the show almost over…i think its gonna be a Taco Truck lunch…check it tomorrow….peace and chicken grease.

5:05am - John Edwards caught with his baby mama in LA hotel … check out the NATIONAL ENQUIRER for details

hahahaha

whatup … is this dame not eating or what?

Amy Winehouse wax figure … crack pipe replaced by microphone

At least the get to stand next to the daughter without smelling burnt hair

Today, if you read the article in the SF GATE article written by Tim Goodman (HERE) you will read about Jay Leno messing with the President of NBC and someone snapped a pic … but like what Tim said, why would Jay do this if he’s on the outs?!?

Catwoman?!?!

naaaaah…..i dont think she would do much for the franchise …

EXPECT BE THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD…EVER…

Would you get you next Pedi … from a fish?!?

Hrmm……$5 says Baltazar has already scheduled his appointment…hahahaha

by the way … if you look like this … please keep it away from a camera … thanks

The View is starting to be kinda my new fav show during the day .. forget Maury cause no one is EVER the father, but the girls on The View are hardcore..these broads throw down … yesterday that did “abortions”

cant wait for today!!!!!!

By the way … if this movie happens… it would be the second best to the Angelina Jolie cat woman idea

[Cohen will play a] lawyer of Latin descent who transforms from contingency attorney to hero of the working class when he helps an immigrant win a judgment against his wealthy employer after a landscaping mishap.
He also becomes the enemy of L.A.’s power elite.

Want a wakeup call from Miley herself?!?

HannaMontanaCalls.Com

chunk note: as a broadcaster…she sucks and its obvious it took many, many takes to get this call right.

DILFs … “Dads I’d Like to Fondle”

N.P.H. … not getting hitched.

When it comes to gay marriage in California, Neil told OK!, “Oh I’m all for it! Big fan!” But when asked if he saw himself as a married man, he said, “I don’t know. If I did, no one would know about it ’til after I got married.”

That “DUDE/CHICK” popped out a baby .. and here it is…

make sure to check out

KittenWar.Com

one hella’of a great site

WNBA gets all WWE … I guess you gotta do anything to watch

Lindsay “loves chunk” Lohan was on the set of UG-BET … doing her “actress” thing …

Estelle Getty 84 … THIS FRIDAY LIFETIME WILL BE RUNNING 10 SPECIAL EPISODES…WE’LL HAVE THE DEEEETS ON THURSDAY/FRIDAY FOR YA

Cheating on SJP?!?!?!

After meeting in a bar, Matthew began text messaging the 25-year-old youth counselor. Soon after, they began seeing each other and things got passionate quickly when they met at the Manhattan townhouse of a showbiz friend.

Star Magazine might be full of crap … but who really knows?!?! I would toss her a bounce…she got the mole taken off so thats cool…

Don’t forget, next Wednesday, the whole show is going to be at the A’s game throwing down with the Celebrity Root Beer Float… Baltazar, Maria and I (chunk) will be on site putting it down for the A’s…..here are some pics of the girls, Katie and Jenna came into the studio and tossed us some ideas and how to properly place the ice cream into root beer.

Next week (MONDAY/TUESDAY) we’re giving away tickets to join us at the A’s game while they play The Royals..

What up y’all? Interesting things came up on the show today. First the whole pre-nup conversation. The question: Pre-nups, yes or no? The overwhelming response was “Yes!” Those that did disagree used the argument that you are expecting your marriage to fail and that it’s the wrong mindset to use when entering into a marriage. Baltazar is against them and his reasoning is that he believes in romance and love being the reason for marriage and pre-nups  go against that.

My take: first I go either way about marriage. I’ve never been married and don’t feel it’s necessary for a committed loving relationship to exist. The exception for me would be if I chose to have children with someone. This does not mean I’m against marriage, I’m just more about the relationship than the party and papers that celebrate it. That being said I think our attitude (and by our I mean Americans) about marriage is a bit naive.  We like to think we will honor and live out those vows but the truth of the matter is only about half of us do. You would be hard pressed to find anyone on their wedding day with the flush of love in their cheeks, sparkle of love in their eyes breathlessly repeating their vows in front of God, State and everyone of their closest relatives and friends to even entertain the thought they won’t feel this way forever but the the reality is: half of them won’t.

Of that half, some will be mature and split things fairly and move on, others depending on why they are splitting will have the knock down drag out fight of their lives on their hands. We all like to think that the people we choose to be in a relationship with are incapable of hurting or betraying us on purpose but that happens when we are just dating  and most of us didn’t see it coming.  Add some assets to the mix and you are asking for trouble.

I’m not saying every couple needs a pre-nup. If you are on equal footing (close in age, accomplishments and finances) it’s probably not necessary but if one of you is significantly older, or wealthier or more accomplished in life, I would at least consider it. For those of you who say it’s predicting the marriage will fail or taking the love and romance out of things let me remind you that marriage is a legally binding contract already. You have to sign a license in order to do it and get divorced in order to legally be un-married so the government already knows there is a chance things will go south otherwise we would be married without the government’s involvement. That being said, I don’t see anything wrong with going one step further and letting me and my husband to-be decide on the allocation of our assets should our marriage fail rather than letting the government do it.

Now to the issue of “manscaping”, most callers said it’s a “Do” and that’s men and women. I’m fine if you do fine if you don’t but a bit of trimming would be preferred. However, the only bald areas I want to see on a man are above the waist and if you’re going to make me “rumble in the jungle” you better use some conditioner and a comb there Tarzan or no safari!

hrrmm……..

did lil Tommy shrink?!?

to caption this picture …

“no baby, you smoke reds …. not lights … silly baby”

Remember Zach Morris?!?!

His latest project is TNT’s new TV Series ‘Raising the Bar’ which follows the lives and cases of young lawyers who have been friends since law school, but who now work on opposing sides. The new series is rumored to be premiering on Labor Day, September 1.

Screech could not be reached for comments … because the YMCA he’s staying at doesn’t have a pay phone anymore.

I hate talking about these two , but hopefully they go visit the troops…and don’t come back

Desperate Housewives looks like … well a complete TV set … set in LA .. hahahaha

Omorosa vs Wendy Williams Round 1

hahaha…here is a funny video for Pineapple Express…with Franco and Rogen

MySpace Harlet Tila Tequila will not be back for a 3rd shot at an STD boyfriend/girlfriend … thats awesome, now we can get 1 more pussycat dolls’ video video per hour.

Brooke Hogan = Dummy

yeah … I made it bold … thats how I roll

“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”

I love me some Sesame Street … and these dudes were the hella funny ones…check this video out

just because this bugs me

… As for the punishment, Kardashian said she was originally expected to be taken to the downtown Twin Towers correction facility, “one of the dirtiest, toughest jails in L.A.,” but said that come Friday morning, “there were some complications, and I actually could not go down there. It’s a blessing in disguise. That’s my dad being one of my angels.”

The socialite also confirmed that she was instead transferred to Lynwood come her morning surrender and immediately placed in solitary confinement for safety reasons.

“As soon as I got to Lynwood, there were three bomb threats…The warden came down to talk to me, and he was saying, ‘You’re the one causing all the problems here.’ And I’m like, ‘Ugh, I don’t need any more problems.’ And he’s like, ‘There’s all these bomb threats, and we’re thinking it’s for you.’

“But because of all these things, it’s a blessing, and I was actually released early because I was a threat to the prison.”

why doesn’t MADD do something about this … what the hell is that crap?!?

this “jag” is total trash

if you missed her video .. here it is … might not be really safe for work .. so be careful.

hahahaha…..snaps…you know Mr T’s got bills…it must cost 1,400 for a SNICKERS chain … hahahaha

Yes…Batman was arrested…he may or may not have beaten up his mom and sister?!?

more details…probably tomorrow … I wonder which cops got to arrest him … i bet then are all like…

“I arrested batman…hahaha”

Wanna cool drink this weekend ….

Stars are usually seen sipping cosmos or martinis, but there’s a new cocktail that’s making the rounds in celebrity circles — the spiked root beer float! At Mark McGrath’s new Newport Beach, Calif. restaurant A, they serve root beer floats that Mark calls a “slice of heaven”. Here’s the recipe:
Spiked Root Beer Float
2 oz. Three Olives Root Beer Vodka
1 oz. Jägermeister
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
5 oz. Root Beer Soda

I haven’t blogged for awhile because I haven’t had anything I really wanted to write about and I’m generally not a person to do something just to do it, or I’m just lazy. Actually it really is the first but when I say that it sounds like the second.

I’ve been traveling a bit lately so I have some observations.  1. The best “middle” ( the person sitting between the people in the aisle and window seats) to have on a plane is no middle. Unless you’re madly in love or at least in like with the person next to you it’s weird at best and if you are sandwiched between two strangers it just plain sucks. You can’t lean so it’s hard to sleep and your fighting for an armrest the whole time. I once had to sit “middle” on the very back row on a coast-to-coast daytime flight. 6 1/2 hours of torture!

2. I am not a fan of all the post 9/11 carry-on restrictions ( the whole striptease to get through the checkpoint is annoying) but I must say that it has made for more uniformity as far as the luggage is concerned. I remember in years past seeing people carry-on everything from carnival midway sized stuffed animals to table leafs, boom boxes and potato chips and stash them in the overhead compartment.

3. Is it me or are more flights late these days? The past two weeks I have taken the same flight back to San Francisco and both times it’s been close to two hours late. No big deal but it was the last flight out so when all was said and done I finally crawled into bed at 1:30 this morning only to have my alarm clock go off two hours later at 3:30 am. Ugh!

Finally, ladies thanks for calling in on the “Hairanoia” Ladies Room. Special thanks to Angela Gardner who e-mailed with some curly hair product reccomendations. I placed an order today and will product test these myself. If I agree with Angela, I’ll post the link on the blog.  Angela says she surfs and swims and these products keep her hair nice despite the salt and chlorine. She also reccomends the Medusa Salon in San Francisco which she reports specializes in curly hair. I haven’t tried the salon so if you do, make sure you ask about any concerns. That’s it, have a fabulous hair day!

Hi peeps! How was your weekend? I’m still sore from walking the 10K (6.2 miles) at the Aids Walk yesterday. I run 3-4 miles every day and feel fine. I walk 6.2 miles and feel like an old man. What the @&#$? I’m actually going to start training to run a half marathon in October (13.2 miles, I believe) Que Loco verdad? I’m trying to tie it in to a charity so if you have one please email me.

If there is a chance for yo uto check out the ESPY’s on ESPN on replay do it. I caught the first 15 minutes and Justin Timberlake had me rollin! He took shots at a lot of people but his line about the Staples Center (where Espy’s where held) was the best. “The Staples Center built one brick at a time by Shaq” LOL

My son just called me, he wants a cellphone for his b-day in August. As I’m about to say that it is not a good idea, he says “To call you daddy”. How freakin heart warming. The little guy knows how to get to me. LOL

I Love Money was off the hook last night. I love that challenge inspired by Flava Fav making out for 93 minutes on Flava of Love. Just when all the contestants thought they had to eat something gross. They flipped the script and put Mr. Boston and Chance in a really funny situation!!! Check it out on the replay on VH1 it is hysterical!

Big shouts before I go to the ladies from the Claremount in Berkeley, Team Wachovia, team Target, team Gilliad and everyone who I got to meet at Aids Walk 2008! Thanks for the laughs. Great job!!!!

BalTazer

This rumor has been floating around the internet for so long that its boring … but lets report on it anyways!

DigitalSpy says, “According to reports the tape does exist and has fallen into the hands of the individuals responsible for leaking the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex video.”

But the picture above is from her appearance at a country music festival where people, booed and laughed the night way at her …. hahahaha

Whats going on with LA Jail … for reals …

Khloe Kardashian spent a whole 173 minutes in jail … which is almost the amount of time you could have spent watching The Dark Knight with full credits. LADIES … if you go to LA .. feel free to do whatever you want…cause the law really doesnt matter much down there.

Speaking of The Dark Knight … it made so much money, the Democrats are thinking of taxing Batman. It made 155 million bucks, 65 in its friday day and 20 mil during the midnight screening alone, which is more then “Meet Dave” has made…ever.

Miley is not only leaking naughty pics of herself online…she also leaked her album…so grab the kids and a cd burner and make an afternoon out of it!

Kim Cattrall says, “I don’t think I’d try plastic surgery. I’d be too frightened I’d end up not looking like myself. I don’t want to look in the mirror and see The Joker from Batman staring back at me!”

Awwwwh…one big happy pill popping family … by the way…Britney doesnt have any kids and K-Fed just got hella paid

$20,000 x 2 kids x 12 months x 16 years(until legal age of 18) = never gonna work again

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

A federal appeals court has thrown out a $550,000 fine against CBS Corp. for the 2004 SUPER BOWL halftime show that ended with JANET JACKSON’s breast-baring “wardrobe malfunction.” The three-judge panel in PHILADELPHIA ruled TODAY that the FCC “acted arbitrarily and capriciously” in issuing the fine for the fleeting image of nudity.

just a “chunk” note on this: thank god … people are smarter then fines .. ya know.

thanks Allaccess.com

here are some pics from my weekend ‘o fun and from The “Foley” Tiki Birthday Party Blowout!!!

Beer Pong = Best Game Ever

The “Entourage”

The Dinner

Not the Girl

Wall ‘o Flame

Happy Birthday PAPPA FOLEY ! !! ! !!

Malibu’s Most Wanted

And the worst picture of the night goes to…..CHUNK

Ok … so I hope this isnt true..because it would helllllllla suck

“The idea is Maverick is at the Top Gun school as an instructor — and this time it is he who has to deal with a cocky new female pilot,” a source told The Sun on Monday.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA that would be the worst crap on film…since…Meet Dave?

by the way..ol tommy cruise is asking 20 mill a picture….but no one is paying him even close to that … for anything….every…anymore…for reals…he would have to fun “Tom Gun 2: Cruise Control” by himself

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO REDWOOD HIGH SCHOOL ALUM, ROBIN WILLIAMS who is 57 today!!!!!

So I guess the new Britney Spears album will be full of “diss” tracks, including one called A.T.M. about her mom, and Already Bad about Justin Timberlake, the track is about how he wasn’t her first lover … im guessing an Uncle.

What is up? I hope your Friday is flying by and you are all set for the weekend. Still looking for you to join Team Movin for the Aids Walk this Sunday.Come on people!

I’m thinking of running it this Sunday (ok maybe not) that thought lasted at least 2 seconds..LOL

What you have to check out is the podcast of today’s show. OMG my my little person interview. I want to be politically correct but so proclaimed “dwarf”Brad Williams was mad funny! You may remember him as the “dwarf” that Carlos Mencia gets to hump things on the show “Mind of Mencia” on Comedy Central. Apparently midget love is the best love from what Brad was saying this morning. He is at Tommy T’s in Pleasanton all weekend. Tommy told me that Brad’s finale is something to behold.

Thanks Alexa for filling in this morning for my girl Maria. Hey if Maria can have a side piece (JLove in the afternoon Hollywood Dirt) I can have Alexa now and then. She is my buddy too! We were talking about how I’m addicted to HGTV and this weekend was going to be fun because I’m in the hunt for a new crib. Specifically in the Pleasanton/Fremont area. Any leads? Hit me up with an email!

Big love to my boy Pablo Francisco and Carlos Mencia who had us rolling this morning (check podcast) Have a great weekend!

BalTazer

what… huh….something something lack of sleep…blah blah.. what?

anyways…sorry…lil brain fart

here are some pics from Idol…. our web dude should have the rest up later…

Justin Gurriereireera(something) and Me

Doing what I do … button toucher

Pablo Francisco - In Studio and Cobbs Comedy Club this weekend!!!

Brad Williams - In Studio and Tommy T’s this weekend!!!

AND NOW … the dirt!

Barry Manilow … still alive … kinda old..but not withering away like the tabs are saying….

Desperate Housewifes …gonna die soon … reports are coming out that the show is going to end at the close of next season…with a possibility of a second final season with the characters 10 years ahead.
hahahahaha

5 months looks like this….

Wanna wash the kids quickly this summer…click HERE

I heard this from a buddy of mine down in “La La” land … he says, “they are going to mess with her so hard next season she’s gonna quit”

thats love … we should setup a love trap on the “lohan”

Cheers to 30 rock .. the scored hella emmy nods yesterday….i so have a crush on Tina Fey

Brooke headed to playboy?!?!?!

BREAKING NEWS: Shannon Doherty… still a diva!!!

have a good weekend folks…talk with cha on Monday!!!

ps: happy 30th bday to my bottom b***h PAPPA FOLEY ! ! !! ! !