Hi, I hope you had a nice weekend. If you missed our conversation this morning about “things you gave up or changed for a boyfriend or girlfriend” you missed a good one. Of course this was all inspired about my revelation that I haven’t worn any of my pink shirts because my girl said she doesn’t like the color pink on a man. I have 5 shirts catching dust over the last few months. It was so funny that women sided with me wearing pink and the men gave the usual “why are you wearing pink?” comment. I must be true to myself and not change for anyone! I can say that boldly because my girl texted me in the middle of our conversation and said she didn’t care..LOL..I may even rock a pink shirt tomorrow! LOL

Do you have any food fears? You know, that one food that you just consider way too disgusting for you to ever try. Up until this weekend that food for me was oysters. I’ve always thought they were slimey and gross. Well after trying them this weekend I have to say that I was wrong. I finally mustered the courage and had my first oysters. So that old saying about “don’t knock it until you try it” is true. I’m not saying that oysters will be the first thing I’ll order from a menu but I will be open to it. Now if only this strategy would work with other food nemesis, menudo. LOL

Check out tomorrow’s Love Trap with Keith from Pleasanton at 7:30. His girl just turned him down to a trip to Las Vegas. Drama is a brewin in the Tri-Valley!

BalTazer

The weekend, was, well off dem chains! We partied really hard and my right wrist is permanently dark from the ink stamps that the bouncers use.

kick in a bOx was in full effect this weekend, we had a huge end of the season party with open bar … yes … open bar people … we threw it down hard at The Cellar on Saturday night … here are some pics from that fine event.

First, we rocked out at The Dubliner on Friday for some pool and whiskey…

Stryker the Homey … tanked … just like his mamma on Prom Night

In honor of pride weekend, my kitties, Ty & Farooq got it on’n poppin!!!!!

Caught in the act!

Adam Sandler did it in Happy Gilmore…I continue it with a pool stick.

The Only Way To Travel - Drunk Train!

This is how we started Saturday night…

kick in a bOx group shot

the ladies of bOx … so fine … so fine

off to the taco truck ……… holla

There’s very little sun. The word “hazy” sounds romantic until you realize it’s because Cali is burning! There is nothing romantic about an open fire in a forest. Okay, at the risk of sounding like somebody’s grandmother again…we can put a man on the moon so why can’t we can find a way to harness all that flood water in the Midwest and get it on these fires out here?! I’m just saying.  Of course if I was so smucking fart I’d have already invented a system to do so instead of crabbing about the obvious.

I guess part of my concern comes from the fact that this is one of the few weekends I’ve chosen to do something outdoors. Al’s coming into town and I’ve promised to take him fishing. It’s something we both like and we’ve both done, just never together. I hope we can enjoy it without coughing up a lung first.

Here’s the thing, even though I’m relatively new to the area, I’m very proud to live here and I don’t take it for granted.  Much of the charm of the Bay Area for me (besides the people) are the natural surroundings. I love the majestic mountains and the sparkling waters and the rich land that produces  the delicious fruits, vegetables etc. and until recently the fresh air. I’ve never considered myself an enviromentalist. I would say I’m aware of the environment but until moving here I didn’t feel really strongly about protecting it. However over the months I’ve become more conscious and in my little ways I try to do my part. I use totes for my groceries and recycle my garbage. I actually look at the packaging of the products I use and try to buy brands that are biodegradable. I walk and use public transit whenever possible and unplug appliances when I’m not using them. I guess the point is that I think every person lucky enough to dwell or visit the Bay Area should be able to enjoy all it’s beauty clearly and not through a haze of smoke. If these fires are from natural causes then so be it, it’s an unfortunate occurence. If however, there are some idiots out there playing pyromaniac, may they burn in the inferno they created.  You don’t have to love the nature here but I think we should at least respect it.

That’s it. I’m (cough!) gone fishing.

Happy Friday! Not so happy hair for me (insert frown face here) I was greeted with this comment from Maria “what happened to your hair”? I look like a bad Bob’s Big Boy hairdo. You can say that the ”Cuafe” (I think that’s how you spell it) was off (check Chunk’s pics for birdseye view) Hey, it happens to the best of us..LOL

You better adhere to the smoke advisories being put out, I didn’t and woke up a sore throat. I did the silly thing of going for a jog and then playing tennis for a couple of hours. HELLO! The sun turned orange yesterday,what am I thinking!!!!

I wasn’t joking about going to open houses and signing in with the whitest name I could think of, my girl who is blonde signs in with the most Mexican of names (Socorro or Ezperanza) LOL

Don’t forget Perez Hilton at the Hot Topic store inside the San Francisco Center on Market street tomorrow at 2 p.m.

To all of our gay brothers and sisters, Happy Pride Weekend!

BalTazer

Bottom line … anything with dead people…makes you weird…but snaps’n props to them because i’m not doing that crap.

Last night my entourage and I were rocking out at San Fran Magazines “Best of the Bay 2008″ … here are some pics from last night.

Yeah, thats Me and my man Sal Castenda … he’s the man.

If you heard us talk this morning, here is a picture of what Baltazar’s hair

Paul F. Tompkins was in studio yesterday, here are some pics from him talking about how Oprah and Weed are the end of the world…or something….I wasn’t paying attention because I was trolling around for the Mini-Me sextape…

…hrmmm…babies do funny things to girls…. i read about what happens in a book once..if you dont know, then just enjoy this

J-Lo in Madrid, looking sexy as ever.

Pregnant….i guess….Mary Hart might be wrong …. but she’s hot so who really knows

hahaha…Cheryl Burke… so silly

Wanna be like Alicia Keyes…drink Vitamin Water….

this is the girl in the mini-me sex tape…awwwwh..isnt she cute

let the Oscar buzz begin……this movie looks great

I hate doing Amy Winehouse stories … because she’s a crackhead and i dont dig her music

but Rolling Stone says, “she’ll be dead within a year, a somber new Rolling Stone Magazine profile and interview with the British singer predicts-even if not directly.”

President Bush … being … well … enjoy this video.

DUI … and well who really cares about this dude..but at least his mug shot isnt so bad, anyone else think he’ looks like Alonzo Boden (last comic standing)

Who is repping the crypts in LA now?

Ryan Reynolds

hahahahaha

MAYBE, POSSIBLY, KINDA hot new couple alert

One of the full house chicks on Letterman talking smack

WTF?!?!

20 MILLION BUCKS !@#!@#!@

peace…chunk out this piece!

Swingtown (Thursdays 10p CBS) is one of my favorite shows of this summer. First let me state that I have no interest in trying what the title suggests. However, I like a number of things about the show: 1. It’s set in the ’70’s so lots of groovy clothes and settings (The Playboy Club for one), 2. Grant Show (Jake from 90’s soaper Melrose Place who is still pretty hot!) and his “porn ’stache” and 3. The carefree attitudes…this was the “me decade”, do it ’till you’re satisfied, love the one you’re with, pre-AIDS,  pill-popping and sex without consequence was the rule of the day.

It’s not the easy sex and prescription drugs I enjoy looking back on, it’s the timeframe. The economy was good, sex was fun and not life-threatening and we weren’t looking for terrorists around every corner. I for one am tired of life being at a constant orange-alert between child predators, internet stalkers, road rage, drive by’s, rising oil prices, collapsing housing markets… it’s a wonder I can sleep at night. I long for the days when you could sit on the front porch talking with friends until the wee hours and the only danger was a complaint from the neighbors. I miss seeing kids playing in the front yard and old people talking an evening stroll and everyone watching out for everyone. I miss being able to expect the best from people instead of the worst. I miss feeling safe. At this point, I sound like somebody’s grandma the only phrase missing is “back in my day” but the point is I miss the simpler times. I know they are long gone and not coming back but once a week, I can go to Swingtown and break open a bottle of sangria and savor the safety.

What’s up peeps? I hope you are having a hell of a day. I’m kinda rushing here through the blog so please excuse any typos. Speaking of rushing, birthday boy Mark Nieto did not waste anytime taking a shot of the Patron I got him for his birthday! LOL What you may not know is behind the scenes Mark is juggling traffic with us and Duke and Celeste on KFRC. So if Mark wants to drink on the air, I support him.LOL (it is a joke, he didn’t drink while on the air, only when the nic was off..LOL) I bust on him because I love him!

Ok, Maria just came in here and renewed her challenge to ride the bull at the Saddlerack next week! Hell to the yizzahh, I’ll be on the bull. I’m not afraid of no mechanical bull(well maybe a little) I actually once got bucked off a horse as a kid so I do have a little anxiety which could be relieved with a little liquid courage (Patron..right Mark? LOL)

Did you watch Baby Borrowers last night? That’s the show that calls themselves the ultimate birth control. They have four teenage couples play “parents” to a baby that was borrowed from other parents. Call me over protective but I would never do that with my kids. Last night was the infant portion of parenting with the four couples learning that taking care of a baby is not as easy as they thought it was going to be. Here’s a tip, don’t shake a baby right after they’ve had dinner. Bad things happen..LOL….I was actually pleasantly surprised by how well the teenage guys did taking care of their “loaner” baby. The teenage girls on the other hand had short fuses and became very frustrated. If you enjoy other people’s misery, this is the show for you!!

Before I go, I want to let you know that you could join “Team Baltazar” for the upcoming AIDS Walk on July 20th in SF. Keep an eye out for a sign up page soon (if not up already) on our website! 

Later  (done in Ben Dejo voice)

BalTazer

So my girl Anna sent me an email at MARCUS@MOVIN997.com and sent me an email of this dude leaving a “swingers” voice mail … if it ends up on youtube I’ll post it ….

since we couldn’t run the voice mail … here is something else she sent me

**********************
I’ve got a goldfish which lives in a bowl on my desk. It sits about two feet away from me. I feed it flakes everyday.

Just now, the damned thing took a DUMP, turned around, and ate it. I know I read somewhere that goldfish have a memory span of 3 seconds, but for real, you can’t remember taking a crap a millesecond before turning around and registering it as food?

Oh, god. He just did it again. He belongs in a toilet.

**********************

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

if you want more of Anna … check her out on yelp @ annak.yelp.com

update: Anna is in green and likes walks on the beach and kick ball …

J-Lo’s post baby bikini body

The Wentz’s are … well …. hacks … but here is the cutest puppy they just adopted …

SO CUTE ! ! !! ! ! ! !!

Wanna lick David Cook?!?

now you can … well you can lick his stamp….

Hillary Swank really wants us to think she’s a dude

she wants $450,000/year for the kids?!?!?!!
wtf … thats just crazy

the only reason why retail is the best job in the world….

in case you havent heard or seen this yet

OK … if this is “fat” … then I just quit this bitch…for reals …

Country Star = Business Handler

“While Tim was performing at the White River Amphitheater in Auburn, Washington last night, he watched a man rush to the front of the stage. This overly aggressive fan attacked a female fan and Tim witnessed this incident. Tim called for security, but when they could not respond quick enough Tim and several crew members removed the fan from the audience where he was then turned over to the local authorities.”

nick cannon=whippppppppppped

NPH!!!!!

the blog wouldnt be complete without a topless Matty

July 17th … Idol = San Francisco

attn freaks….bring it!

If you want to check this out yourself here

http://wigflip.com/automotivator/

Rehab ….

hahahahahaha

whats wrong with this picture?

if you guessed the left over baby who is neglected… your correct!

check out the next issue of Rolling Stone mag, its got this cover plus a great article about my man Barack!!!!!

if your 4 and 2 year old are in therapy .. you failed as a parent ….

ya.. failed.

hahaha…..hahahahahahahaha

just cause its funny

‘ol billy and his new lady

JT slanging the stank now

Paris needs to pay her bills

nah…her battery just died…funny….not funny funny haaa haa … but ya know..funny.

…Britney Spears is working on a new album according to a starbucks bathroom clearner LA music producer…which is awesome…cause you know chunk loves some brit-brit

…Ben & Jen heading to divorce?!? .. Affleck and the Alias are heading to divorce court?

and on the creepy side

Brooke said, “I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like he’s touching an old car. He used to change my diaper!”

ummm… here is the pic in question…you make the call

Al Gore reps the streets

whatever… some times people are just silly

OK, I was talking about this yesterday off-air, some people will do anything for ratings … well TV has hit a new low

“I was raped and he was molested”

what?!?!

watch the video for more info … but damn … really … i’ve heard of a lot weird things for ratings … but damn … that is a lil overboard!

hahaha

sometimes you can’t make up stories this good… so the dude below was Anne Hathaway’s BF, they got caught coonoodling on a boat and the pics are RACY … then a scandal broke that he’s a shady business dude…then he gets dumped a few weeks ago before the Get Smart movie premiere … and now he gets arrested in New York…hahhaha

“He is accused of falsely telling an investor that he had been appointed as the chief financial officer of the Vatican.”

Leaked pics of Nicole Richie and The Olsen girls getting down and grimey at a LA house party … good times….

AskMen.Com losing some street cred…why is Katherine Heigl the “Worlds Most Desirable Woman” … hrmm???

Larry King’s wife = Rehab for pain pills

Makes sense….i would be popping vics if I had that all up in that mess…..

Again … anything for ratings

Rihanna = weird

“It’s Roman numerals. Me and my best friend got the same thing. This is her date of birth and she has mine. I love her so much. More than some of my family. She’s a blood sister.”

Not dating Chris Brown, getting hella Tats, pixie haircut … hrmm…. i dunnnnnnnno… i think lohan and sammy are “blood sisters”

Nate Dogg arrested .. again … kinda like DMX of the west coast…speaking of that DMX was also arrested yesterday… cant these idiots get a driver??!!?

Moments before she are the mic

Released from the hospital .. and smoking … what’a crackhead

I would post the video of the new song by Heidi Montag … instead … here is a picture of a wall … much more entertaining

hahahaha

alrighty … im out this piece … holla

twitter.com/movin997

tell ya mamma