OMG! My I Fly experience was totally awesome! (I know I just went Valley-Girl but some things are so cool they short-circuit a few brain cells!) I haven’t checked his blog but Chunk should have posted some of the pictures.  I would reccomend this to anyone who ever wondered what it was like to be able to fly like Superman or if you wanted to try and skydive but were concerned about what it feels like. I admit I’m still not brave enough to skydive but I would go back and do this in a heartbeat.  We had everyone in our group: male, female, older (senior citizens) to younger (a four year old) and everyone loved it.

BTW: Ladies, the manager (Travis) who was also our instructor was Gorgeous (with a capital G!!!!)! I’m not suggesting a relationship but it’s worth the trip just to see him smile.

Crazy Love Trap today with “Miss CSI in-training”. If you have to go buy a blacklight and a DNA kit, forget using them , because if you have to go buy them your relationship is already on the rocks!

Finally the discussion on ultimatums: we got both sides. Some people said they don’t work and have the opposite effect because no one wants to be threatened. We also got people who got them and said they worked and in fact changed their life. Here’s my take in case you missed the show: Ultimatums work if your goal is closure…to know once and for all if your relationship is headed where you want it to and if not ,you know to pick up and move on. But you have to be prepared. It’s like going all-in in poker, you can win the whole pot or go home with nothing. If you can live with the negative outcome (worst case scenario) it may be the thing to answer your questions. If you have even a shred of doubt, it’s not for you.

Tomorrow on the show Comedians Eddie Griffin and Mary Curry, the funny guy behind Forgetting Sarah Marshall and more shots to Spring Break the Bank. Plus your last chance to win Heart of the City Tour (Mary J. Blige and Jay Z) tickets from us. Fun starts at 5am! Enjoy the day.

Jack McBrayer (30 Rock, Forgetting Sarah Marshall)  is my new hero! This morning when he called in I was like thinking “who is this no name actor” Yeah big shows and potentially a hit movie this weekend. Then Maria asked the question “what did you during the writers strike”? I was expecting the proverbial “oh nothing” answer. But no! Our friend Jack was busy shooting the Mariah Carey “Touch my Body” video! (BTW its on the Movin videos) He plays the computer nerd who is lusting over Mariah. Yeah man, move over Superman. I have a new hero!!

Mariah did look good last night on American Idol, she is finally figuring out that trashy is not classy. You know I think it is a gift for a woman to be able to pull that off. Leave something to the imagination ladies. “Hanging out” of your top doesn’t mean you’ll be “hanging out” with me.

I was doing a little grocery shopping last night when at the check out lane they had the tabloid story that “Ryan Seacrest is stealing Regis’ job”! No not my Regis! He is another guy I look up to for his professionalism. He is one smooth, funny guy who I would hate to leave TV . My buddy in Boston tells me Ryan is way too busy with radio and others shows to take Regis’ job. I know Jeff Probst from Survivor dream job would be to sit on that chair next to Kelly. FYI, Safeway has a sale on sodas. Buy 2 get 2 Free! LOL

Jam packed show tomorrow with comedians Eddie Griffith,  Mark Curry and Ty Burnett! Last chance to win the MaryJ/JayZ tickets for the weekend and Jason Segal from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Have a great day!!

 BalTazer

I always like it when a funny dude gets a hot chick, the rumor mill is grinding away that David Cross made out with that hot redhead named Amber Tamblyn … you go boy … get’cha funny on and keep your pimp hand strong!

‘Ol Crazy Girl was at the gym and normally thats not really news, but worthy of the blog only because of her facial expression…hahahah she’s a silly goose!

and did she get butt implants?!?!!?!?!

Happy Birthday to Redman!

In honor of his Birthday, I’m going to watch the comedy classic, “How High” and make a note to my self, never smoke a dead guy.

No, thats not me … but it would be cool to play x-box with red!

Dont fake the funk … David Beckham is all man … even though he plays a girly girl sport!

The latest is that Pappa Joe is selling the story for $1 Million bucks to the tabs, thats why no one is saying if she’s preggo or not.

Universal Records tells the above lady is going to have to be sober or her record wont be released.

I’m glad Universal is taking a stand, but really, how many artists are on drugs…hrrrrmmm??

Fox has leaked the name online of the new X-Files 2 Movie … it will be called, X-Files2: I Want to Believe ….

thats a really lame name .. lets hope thats a joke….love me some Scully

Yes, Jason Segal (who is joining us on the show today) stars in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” which opens up this weekend and is going to BE HELLA FUNNY!!!

Check it out … here is a lil teaser for ya … also look for 30 Rock “Kenneth” for his love scene … should be a great movie … dont bring the kids!

If you missed out on Heidi “What’a Dummy” Montag on TRL … she started to Rap … and kids everywhere ran into walls.

here is the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZIaac7S6fA

Aubrey O’Day, the blonde girl from Danity Kane was at an party or whatever and showed up rocking a black sheer shirt … with no bra, she just become the most famous girl on the internet … for a thursday april 17th 2008 … tomorrow … someone new. Go online and search for the pics … im not posting them … i like my job

That picture stolen from a blog, but if I don’t put out that it was also stolen from SpashNewsOnline … someone will come give me a wedgie .. and those hurt!

Those close to me know I have a fear of heights. I’m fine flying in an airplane, riding up to the top of a building etc. because I am enclosed. The minute someone suggests we go out on the observation deck, I disappear faster than Monica Seles on Dancing with the Stars. At different stages I have dated people and had friends that thought it would be a kick to go skydiving. Now I’ve gone to skydiving parties, I’ve watched other people’s skydiving videos, held valuables at the spot while friends jumped but could never take the plunge myself. I’ve had people tell me that you only have to do it once and once you do you are changed forever. Your fear is put into perspective once and for all and you can go out and conquer anything you dare dream. Great theory, I understand it but I can’t wrap my head around the notion of jumping out of a perfectly good plane. Today however Baltazar, Chunk and I are going to get as close to skydiving as possible without jumping out of a plane. We’re going for a simulation at I Fly (you can reach them at iflysfbay.com).  It’s indoor skydiving in a simulator.  I don’t exactly know the process but I’m excited because this is as close as I will ever get. Expect a full report tomorrow.

Did you check out the chick on YouTube ranting and raving about her soon-to-be ex-husband? I’m sorry if offend anyone but that woman looks crazy and sounds even crazier. What’s everyone’s obsession to be famous these days? Why should we care that you married some rich old geezer and made the mistake of signing an “unfair prenup”and are facing eviction? Hard-working people are losing their homes everyday but they haven’t gone on YouTube to whine about it. Women get divorced from really abusive husbands (I’m talking bodily injury and restraining order abusive) and they aren’t begging for sympathy and they deserve plenty. I don’t know you and generally I don’t judge but that video makes you seem, spolied, self-absorbed and a bit crazy.  As the saying goes “You knew the job was dangerous when you took it” so don’t complain when you get hurt.

Okay, I’m off my soapbox. Tomorrow set your alarm for 7am so you can be in the running for those Jay-Z/Mary J. Blige tickets. Former talk show king Phil Donahue and comedian-actor Eddie Griffin will join us and of course more chances for you to “Spring Break the Bank” anytime between 5am and 5pm.  Oh and Ladies, tomorrow in the Ladies Room I’ll read you an e-mail and ask “Do ultimatums work in a relationship?”, can’t wait to hear your answers. As always thanks for your support and have a fantastic day!

Hell to the N-O !!!

In case you missed it last week, that dudes gotta baby in his bun, but he’s also a girl, guy, girl, girl, guy??!? anyways..he’s as pregnant as Ashlee Simpson … and i really hope People doesn’t cough up millions for the pics … im gonna have to holla at Larry Sutton and talk shop with that cat.

Here is the video link for that crazy dame who went on YouTube and put her husband on BLAST!!!! Silly gold diggers … acting a fool on the inter-webs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx_WKxqQF2o

In San Francisco, the folks who drive around in those lil trucks and give out tickets that make you get mad, well they went down to City Hall and told the Mayor that if they raise the prices of tickets “we gonna get our asses beat!”

Dozens of San Francisco parking-control officers spent their lunch break at City Hall on Tuesday to fight higher parking fines - a move the ticket givers say will only mean more grief from angry drivers. - sfgate.com

Remember Robin Leech, well he was in a strip club … it looks like he just fell off the wall that humpty dumpty looking fool!

Big up’s to my girl Lauren who works out in Las Vegas was the one who talked with Paris about Kim’s cottage cheese booty … here are the BFF’s who are not friends anymore, when we talked with Kim a month or so ago, she told us that she hasn’t spoken to Paris in over a year.

The song “Shut em Down” from Public Enemy comes to mind when I think of today’s Love Trap. Devon thought his dream of a threesome was coming true, only to find out that is girl Felicia knew all about his secret MySpace account. LOL (check podcast)

I mean what guy would not get excited about the chance of hooking up with two ladies at one time. Devon was not a happy camper when he heard our voices come on the line. Yeah man! You are on the Love Trap!! My only problem with having a threesome is that I’m already nervous just trying to satisfy one woman, let alone two! LOL

It’s almost noon and I’m about to go do a Baltbuster on an unsuspecting Subway sandwich shop manager. Jared is coming! On paper this sounds like a funny Baltbuster, we’ll see if I can pull this off! (kinda nervous) I’m practicing my eccentric, over the top voice as we speak. LOL

Keep the love coming in the morning! Tomorrow we have JayZ/MaryJ Blige tickets at 7 a.m.

BalTazer

Well I’ve done it again…put off doing my taxes to the last possible moment.  This afternoon I’ll be online with my tax preparation program and my shoebox full of receipts trying to keep myself out of the clutches of the Internal Revenue Service.  My only comfort is that I am not alone. Thousands of other Americans will be doing the same thing. Why wait? Because it’s a pain.  Plus if you owe them, you need time to get the money together. Besides why should they get the interest on it  when you can be.  Allright, enough of my crabbing, procrastinators grab your calculators and mount up! Meet you at the mailbox at midnight.

We asked the question “How were you  disciplined as a child?” and got everything from you usual spankings with belts and switches to kneeling on uncooked rice on a brick floor…Ouch! Luckily most of us weren’t repeat offenders.

I’m headed out for my favorite lunch…at the ballpark “Go Giants!” It doesn’t matter who they’re playing as long as the hot dogs are fresh and there are plenty of garlic fries. Who knows, I might change my MO today and get a Cha-Cha Bowl…Yum! I’m gonna have a great day, hope you do too.

It’s 12:30 and Maria is waiting for me to have our garlic fries at the “Ship” this awesome bar around the corner from us. So I’m making this pretty quick.

What a weekend! I couldn’t believe how warm it got on the golf course this weekend. I have the worst “farmers” tan going. I’m cool until someone sees me naked (scream! sfx) I glow in the dark! Hmmm, I smell the garlic fries!!!!!

Oh my cell is ringing! It’s Rod from Massage Envy in Walnut Creek checking to see if Maria enjoyed her massage. Psyeah! Maria got stress rubbed away. Thank you Marylyn! She does incredible things with her elbows. OMG guys, you have to hook up your lady with a massage, you will be a hero!

Busy day today, Maria lunch, haircut, and then I have a ton of shows on TiVo. Desperate Housewives, Rock of Love even some of the Masters golf tourney. Yes I know Tiger lost! Got it! Hmmm, the smell of garlic fries.

Here’s tomorrow’s Love Trap situation. Our victim just found out that her man of over 5 years has a secret MySpace account complete with his buddies that all happen to be women!! That already is cheating of some kind. At 7:30 it will all hit the fan!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Maria! I’m coming!!! Gotta run, what the birthday girl wants, she gets!

BalTazer

Today is officially my birthday. (Yea, Me!) I had a blast over the weekend and as soon as I get my strength back I’ll try to remember to tell you about it.  The short version is I ate a ton of food, drank a ton of shots and got a ton of presents.

I didn’t forget my duty to the show, when I got back last night I was up until midnight watching Desperate Housewives so I could talk to y’all about it this morning. However I forgot to tape “Rock of Love”. Aarrgh! I can’t believe he did not pick Daisy! He put up with her crap all season and picked Ambre. They will not stay together. I’m starting to think he does this on purpose so there can be another “Rock of Love”.

The guys I work with are the best, they totally surprised me with a massage this morning (thank-you Marilyn from Massage Envy! She works out of the Walnut Creek location at 1815 Ygnacio Valley Road.  For an appointment you can e-mail her at massageenvy-walnutcreek.com. To find a location of Massage Envy near you go to massageenvy.com) Chunk’s sister who I now lovingly call “Chunklet” made me a chocolate cake with raspberry filling….Yum! If Baltazar hugs me one more time I’m going to cry.  I mean super-delicious Jason Taylor?! Wow! This day just keeps getting better. I’m eating garlic fries for lunch with my friend Kim (her birthday is today too!) and then I need a nap.

I’m happy, hungover, relaxed, hungry, sleepy and very grateful to have so many good friends and such a loving family. Those of you I have not met I consider you friends- to-be. I hope I’ll meet some of you at Lux on Friday. It’s my official birthday party and a party for everyone who has a birthday in April so come on you Aries and some of you Taurus’. I want meet you! The guest list opens again on our show tomorrow morning or you can win a slot from Alexa or J. Love this afternoon!  Thanks for all the good wishes, have a fantastic day!

First off … happy birthday to Maria .. she’s turning 23 today..she’s younger then me

here is her getting rubb’d up from Marilyn from Massage Envy Walnut Creek .. she’s tiny but has some really really strong hands!

Man this was a crazy hot weekend here in the Bay Area…

I ate all the left over Breakfast Burritos from El Balazo … so goood!

here are some more pics from last week and this past weekend….